PS: It works! - Parenting Skills Series

The Communication Skills in Action… PS: It Really Works!

Are you struggling with screen time limits? Do you dread battles over screens? Does it seem like your child is always on a screen? If so, you are not alone!

Try using the Five Communication Skills!

1.Self-Control – Starting with self-control is a great idea as battles over screens is probably an ongoing challenge. Notice your body messages telling you that you might lose control, think of a way to get in control of yourself (Take a deep breath? Recite a mantra? Remind yourself that this behavior is developmentally appropriate?) and then choose a way to get in control of yourself before speaking with your child.

2.Can Do – Tell your child what they Can Do. For example, “You can play your game for five more minutes and then it will be time to turn it off” or “You can turn off your game now and have time to play tomorrow or you can give up your playing time tomorrow.”

3.Shared Decision Making –Can Do’s not working? It’s time to sit down with your child and come up with some solutions together. Explain to your child what concerns you have about too much screen time and ask them for their input around things they could do instead of using screens or what kind of rules and limits around screen time would be acceptable for everyone. Remember to always get input from your child when using this skill and they will be more likely to follow the plan you have come up with together.

4. Encouragement –Be sure to notice when your child is following the rules and tell them! “When you turn your game off without an argument I feel happy!” “When you stick to the limits that we’ve decided on together, I feel so proud of you!”

5. Respecting Feelings –There are bound to be bumps in the road and turning off screens may ultimately result in a meltdown. You can help your child feel heard and seen by using Respecting Feelings. Notice that your child is having some big feelings around turning off screens and take a guess at what they might be feeling. “You’re feeling sad because I said it was time to turn off screens.” “You’re frustrated that you had to turn your game off in the middle of a match.” Generally, your child will correct you if you guess wrong and it might just lead to more conversation about screen use.

DO YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE? 

PS: It Works! Parenting Skills Workshop Series© is a free, 8-week workshop series for all parents, guardians and community members interested in improving the way they relate to children.

In these two-hour in-person, or 1.5 hour remote sessions, the five communication skills of Encouragement, Can Do, Shared Decision Making, Self-Control and Respecting Feelings are explained, discussed, and practiced in an interactive, small-group setting.

This 8-week workshop is based on the Parenting Skills Workshop Series curriculum, a Cornell Cooperative Extension publication. The Parenting Skills Workshop Series is offered at various times during the year with funding from the Tompkins County Department of Social Services. Workshops are free and are held at locations throughout Tompkins County. Free childcare is often provided.

Visit our Events Calendar to find the dates of upcoming workshops. If you would like to be notified of future workshops,  sign up for our monthly Family Matters newsletter or register for the next series. 

Resources

Parenting Skills Workshop Series Outline  (pdf)

PSWS Evaluation Report, 2005-2019

Parenting Skills Workshop Series Promotional Video

Last updated October 5, 2026